incantation 2013

Blood nose, blankets, space intercept, child witch, see-saw, lightning strike, 10-speeds, dirt fall, monster apple, back seat, good cunt bad cunt, rotten fingernail, trap door, ugly nose, hot water sticky sky, pants off, piss bush, cold wind, frozen hair, bus stop, too stoned, pretty boy, soft sack, no drive, jerk off, wood smoke, sand mouth, pleasant trip, aqua strange, moan fuck, wicked cool, night jam, round ass, leather cock, rope truck, drunk yes, dead no, mother gone, lion fight, teeth sink, eyeball spit, morning train, pocket panties, stink pits, grease hair, hollow guts, lock jaw tooth pearl, hunter moon, ketamine carpet, MTV nightmare, torn lip, tent rape, river bath, you drowned, dead woman, best friend, valentine, all gone, vibrates, sorrow shits, toilet cry, cold place, so we left, granite mountain, frozen lake, dark city, blood walls, candle light, piano bitch

 

world one- slips off, world two burns, world three- frozen broken, world four- requires flight, stained sheets, women’s work, soak beans, break locks, fungus blue, humid grass, gnat chew, sulfur water, sink boats, demon fuck, truck bed, laser beam, cops kill, weed grower, stupid kid, helicopter, clown with gun, AK-47  to your dome, smell of money, sticky hands, baby sleeps, promised land, running drugs, gas tank, out of state plates, prison debt, stare you down, don’t make a sound, pistol whip, crankhead thief, tongue in ass, glassy eye, stolen truck, highway death, cancer patient, narrow escape, don’t call the cops, don’t kill me now, ugly row, junkie excuses, blood on brain, tattoo pink, death drive, pussy juice, carpet burn, break dance, good moves/bad moves, haley’s comet, astroglide, squatter punks, prescription drugs, staph infection, broken heart, box wine, food shelf runs, pregnant teen, head lice, hitchhike, island time, walk alone, airports, modern love, heavy bags, beans and rice, parking lots, camper vans, volcano climb, pacific life, hustle, struggle, doing fine, eat again, shit gain, pick nose, smuggle drugs, launder money, diaper change, weed smoke, stupid kid, redwood tree, broken tractor, outdoor shower, accordion lover, LSD forest, river calliope, call home- never go back. broken teeth, velvet dress, sexy bitch, bicycle gang, chains and spokes, broken shoes, rain on toes, summer flood, radio bean, bent matchstick, precious whore, suck this dick, drunk again, speak Italian, diarrhea, ocean swim, dolphin dreams, suicide machine, empty bed, best boy, electric cock, drive fast, music loud, home surgery, puss filled knee, back porch fuck, lighting bugs, garden weeds, letter write, perforations, salt tongue, sweat lick, babies grow, dogs die, move house, unzip fly, clit finger, learn to surf, book pros, theory head, growing old, ghost sight, cracking bones, in between, punk rock/hip hop, old stoner, little cat, tend garden, clay hands, all forgiven make amends. 

 

 

 

the version of the version of the version- June 2015 excerpts from a reading at SFAQ project space

 

why I liked you that first night I slid into you and the you that you were that night then that you 

were a sinister density in the room full of stupid 

and drank an old fashioned 

and played pool and watched and twisted and watched and smoked cigarettes watched

and became magnetic 

an intelligent blackness

that night we could be brother and sister hiding inside a cupboard or closet or in the way back of 

the wagon

and we could be close

without trying too hard

I could climb in your shadow and your face a light

unto itself

why I liked you that night I first slid into your charm round eye cheek mouth dagger smile 

you put your number in my phone

next day

I look up your name

I hate it right away

your density fractures

you follow me on instagram

I follow you back

your mystery dissolves in the version of the version of the version

i wanna  melt the virtual version of you in the heat between my thighs

I wanna take your pages and tuck them in my clit hood and smush your profile pic between my 

tits and corrall all your followers and macerate them with my teeth and strain them through my 

bush and leave the virtual version of you stranded on the island of my asshole and fart and make 

you disappear into the moist corner of my eye and blink blink your gone even further gone 

all the likes you get and all the cute comments all dissolving slowly in the darkness of my cunt 

while I squeeze the last tiny thumbs up sign into the mouth of my cervix and I take the virtual 

illuminated you where no one will ever see it again

and you can just get nice and quiet and rest for a change

and all the manic anxiety of our time will just evaporate and you won’t care who liked you or how 

quickly or what they said

all the pretend potentialities will burn out and in their place millions of seeds burst from your brain

freed for the first time in years to imagine

and laugh and make up things 

and drift and spin and follow trajectories of thought and pleasure and sense 

liberated to make up the world

instead of the world weary web making up you

I’ll take you to the realm of pleasure magic

where sense sense sensing 

makes up the world

let’s be close

in this world of distance

of dematerialization and democratic ideals

let’s get entangled in the age of the individual

where I go 

I make you laugh in the cupboard 

breathe the same air close to your face let you climb up in my sweatshirt

let the fucking wind blow all around us

let people try to find us for days

disappear

and then you can

tell me the story

the real real reason

you try so fucking hard

LURE

The lures are perfect when I find them. Ground down and crusted with sand and salt. A trace of iridescence they had been shot through with- in their making- a ghostly taint. 

 

Allure- there are two, and the basalt step and sandstone pocked by salt spray where they were found alone- again. 

 

I had been in this excellent flow for days on end.

I go in and out of the ocean and hang my underwear to dry on the rearview mirror, eat uncut the ingredients for salad and get so so turned on by the sun and sand that I am fucking everything. I have no border. Walk dance dive in the spark sparkle glitter glimmer of the horizontal sea.

 

I think of one and let another put their hand down my tights in the bushes in juri park. dark, it is dark. 

 

Allure is the scent worn for weeks after the lures are found. The move is attraction- a faded iridescence, a painted mouth, a wide eye shimmer in the flows- a twitch, a rubbery flick, colluding with shadow, with sunlight, with the slick shine of the sea itself and a hope is cast- into the flow- a lure.

 

In the dark street you think I am latina, arab, french, you think I am foreign, indigenous, a bruja-a witch-you think I am what you eat, what you prefer. 

 

A simulacra- a mutable fantasy, the evocation of desire. The lure is a slippery sign. 

 

 

This kinda fishy thing- cruising- know a few spots to wait- wiggle the shimmer the flicker the slip the side eye the shoulder roll the dangle the whip. I think of the one and let another put their hands down my tights in the bushes in juri park.

 

In the dark studio you think i am honest, forthright, kind.a lure. a slippery sign. 

 

Wiggle, shimmer, flicker, slip I just want to fuck everything- your books, rags, brushes, your sawdust, thumbtacks, coat sleeve, thermos, drop clothes, your hair, your eyeballs, your paintings, your books.  I want everything. wiggle shimmer slip.

 

a lure a slippery sign, the evocation of desire- a simulacra- a mutable fantasy. a remembering of the death drive- libido, libidinous- the lure.

 

"angels love you then they go" excerpt from a reading June 2015 SFAQ Project Space

ANGELS LOVE U THEN THEY GO.

 

 

so I just say “boi, boi I want rug burns and fuck sores, I want you to do something to my face, I want bruises and handprints on my thighs, hey pretty boi, hey.”

 

and he says “I’ll hit you up.”

 

anymore the way people want to have sex but just on the surface and get up and cover up the object and return it to its place without any repercussion except the smallest expenditure where energy is lost and a little bit gathered up and maybe you get sleepy and relaxed

 

already we have virtual sex

 

what is this then we realized god was not coming and the night stretches on and on

and ecstasy is beyond us because we refuse the attendant emotion the tears and vulnerability- the tearing apart the tears and the tearing apart

 

let’s take it back. from its pretending at liberation, from sex in a void where nothing matters, momentary scratching at the surface, pleasure that passes and falls off, something wasteful

less significant than shitting

 

 

 

I want it back

so I say “hey I just painted my fingernails red, why don’t you come over and fuck me before I go…”

 

hey boi, we not your momma, we not your girl, we not your mamma girl

boi, let me turn you into every animal, all at once, dog, deer, owl, cat, fight fight fight me boi, fight me right up to the line and then beyond it where we can taste eachother sliding apart, stick your tongue in my asshole boi and let go my name.

let go my name, forget the story, forget the story

 

spin me

transubstantiate

my body

anointed with your grief

all flesh amid relics of sex so I tell you that there was a song in my body and you let it out- do you care

 

no one cares/ care is weak and makes us weak and in the dangerous void left in its place we have sex that is virtual

 

hey pretty boi I just want you to come sleep over and wake up sober and keep your dick hard and stick it up my ass and hold my tits and ride me while you bite my neck and shoulders

 

let me write you nasty poems

but first you gotta give me something to write about

you gotta come over and fuck me sober

with your dick hard

 

 

I don’t know names for this anymore

“I’ll hit you up”

what the fuck. where is this place?

 

 

that we go to

 

a twilight spell. an onerous livingroom

let me write you dirty love songs- let me teach you how to fuck

 ya’ll think you know already and its cool but you don’t.

 

you just don’t

and I not sure why

I cannot say

is it some millennial shit where you are afraid of your body- weird

ok, I start over and just forget I said that.

I won’t bother you

its cool.

 

Everything is vaporous now

now when it comes to touch and to bodies and to fucking and getting fucked

 

it barely goes inside.

it barely breaks the surface

skims skims

 

just a mostly vaporous thing

this might be why I don’t care

why you won’t love and why love won’t love

 

 

because its fog

it’s the fog that pours out of the freezer

its not even atmospheric

its synthetic and it belongs inside a room with fluorescent light and chemical smells

its freezer fog and it dissipates and there is nothing there.

 

its an empty room

did I say that

that it is an empty room

 

it is an empty room