the version of the version of the version- June 2015 excerpts from a reading at SFAQ project space

 

why I liked you that first night I slid into you and the you that you were that night then that you 

were a sinister density in the room full of stupid 

and drank an old fashioned 

and played pool and watched and twisted and watched and smoked cigarettes watched

and became magnetic 

an intelligent blackness

that night we could be brother and sister hiding inside a cupboard or closet or in the way back of 

the wagon

and we could be close

without trying too hard

I could climb in your shadow and your face a light

unto itself

why I liked you that night I first slid into your charm round eye cheek mouth dagger smile 

you put your number in my phone

next day

I look up your name

I hate it right away

your density fractures

you follow me on instagram

I follow you back

your mystery dissolves in the version of the version of the version

i wanna  melt the virtual version of you in the heat between my thighs

I wanna take your pages and tuck them in my clit hood and smush your profile pic between my 

tits and corrall all your followers and macerate them with my teeth and strain them through my 

bush and leave the virtual version of you stranded on the island of my asshole and fart and make 

you disappear into the moist corner of my eye and blink blink your gone even further gone 

all the likes you get and all the cute comments all dissolving slowly in the darkness of my cunt 

while I squeeze the last tiny thumbs up sign into the mouth of my cervix and I take the virtual 

illuminated you where no one will ever see it again

and you can just get nice and quiet and rest for a change

and all the manic anxiety of our time will just evaporate and you won’t care who liked you or how 

quickly or what they said

all the pretend potentialities will burn out and in their place millions of seeds burst from your brain

freed for the first time in years to imagine

and laugh and make up things 

and drift and spin and follow trajectories of thought and pleasure and sense 

liberated to make up the world

instead of the world weary web making up you

I’ll take you to the realm of pleasure magic

where sense sense sensing 

makes up the world

let’s be close

in this world of distance

of dematerialization and democratic ideals

let’s get entangled in the age of the individual

where I go 

I make you laugh in the cupboard 

breathe the same air close to your face let you climb up in my sweatshirt

let the fucking wind blow all around us

let people try to find us for days

disappear

and then you can

tell me the story

the real real reason

you try so fucking hard